Stop - It's The Only Way To Get Where You Want To Go.

For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.

 Romans 7:19

I once heard a man say "I thought I was making love to my girl and in reality I was showing my a** to God".  Is that a figurative and literal picture or what? We have become a culture of rationalizers. Most of what we do that we ought not do is easily excused, explained and rationalized away. For example, many people say homosexuality is wrong while they actively embrace the practice of fornication. They rationalize that at least what they're doing is 'normal' therefore not as egregious of a sin as those who practice homosexuality.  They dismiss it as peccadillo vs. abomination. How they manage to pick out the micro-splinters out of other's eyes while redwood logs are lodged in their eyes is beyond me. 


Real talk - sexual indiscretions are among the most cherished. Anyone who has crossed the the flesh threshold will likely tell those who haven't, that once you go there going back is like trying to swim against Niagra Falls.  Like Paul said "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing".  I hear you Paul. I've gone down the celibate road a time or two in my life.  Studies seem to suggest that around one percent of the population is asexual. That means 99% of us have bodies that crave physical and/or sexual connection. This is for singles AND married, Christian, Buddhist, Jew, Hindu, Muslim....you get it.  Now, I'm not naive, I am well aware that scales do not miraculously appear over the eyes of the married - ya'll struggle too. But at LEAST y'all have the marriage bed to fall back on/ into.


I've had this discussion with friends, family and clergy - what are those of us who yet remain single with healthy sexuality and sexual desires supposed to do? The desire for physical connection is at times relentless. Look, the creator gifted us with this desire. One thing I've learned from  this gift is how quickly it can spiral into an all consuming force.  I've shared with you that as a child, I was the victim of sexual abuse. This act created a gaping chasm that for a long time I sought to fill via the same means by which it was created.  The collateral from that abuse was the early igniting of sexual desire WAY before I had the emotional and spiritual maturity to navigate the minefield. Thankfully, the Lord has been able to guide me out of that field.  Since then, my missteps have been all my own. While I am not subjugated to my fleshly desires - I DO struggle. In my opinion, the struggle is guaranteed, but being subjugated is a choice. I may fall, I may stumble, but I don't have to wallow in it like a pig in slop. "Although sex is physical, it's an emotional connection of souls, and it is a spiritual act. Every single act of sexual intercourse is an act of worship. The question is, Who is being worshiped? Who is being glorified through this act? Is it glorifying God or is it glorifying the enemy? You cannot engage in a sexual act and not have it connect to the spiritual realm. It's impossible" - Spirituality and Sex on Kyria.com. I don't know if this is how you interpret that, but here's how I see it. If there is no God in the act, yet one is still "worshipping" something, then in fact the act is idolatry. This flies in the face of the FIRST commandment. Whether you are idolizing your desires, your boyfriend, girlfriend - you are not putting God, the Alpha and Omega, The Creator, The Great I am, BEFORE what YOU want. 


As Christians our journey is one of discipline and self denial. The flesh struggle is often ground zero of this journey. So what do you do? What do I do? I make a concerted effort to stay away from music (that's right, MUSIC), things, people and places that place me smack dab in the center of the minefield. If/when I stumble, I add distance to my journey to wholeness....two steps forward and two steps back. Thankfully, His grace is sufficient in spite of my stumbles and downright concerted forward march into situations. Many of us who are single do not see how a lack of discipline now can result in indiscretions when married. It's about habits - when they are formed they are HARD to break. If you regularly rationalize your bad decisions - when things get hectic you will once again rationalize. We've all heard that marriage is not for the faint hearted and quite often things can and will get hectic. 


It runs counter to logic, but STOP - it's the only way to get where you want to go.